“There are homeless people everywhere you go — do you know how horrible of a life that is? There are homeless 8 year olds, Julia, that couldn’t even dare to imagine a life like yours and mine. Life sucks, and that’s a fact, nothing is fair and bad things still happen to good people. But the only thing that matters is the way you look at the world, and your life, because it was the hand you were dealt and you’re still in charge of it. You have to look at each day in the best light you can, because you deserve to. Like, right now, even though I’m sad, I can still see my own house around me, and the girl I want to be with forever standing right in front of me. And that, in this very moment, is the best thing in my life.”

Matt, I love you. You change me everyday.

Is like a dream. Its indescribably nice to be back home.

Im about to hop on a bullet train heading to Tokyo, where hopefully Ill get loads of shopping done…damn, Im excited beyond reason.

I miss everybody back home. Especially you, Matty.

I am in so much pain today. Body aches that radiate from my abdomen, all up across my ribcage, and then down my lower back and into my thighs. Why? I have no idea. But it hurts. : (

Quarantine scared the living shit out of me.

bahhhhhg

And so there’s a change…
In your emotions
And all of these memories come rushing
Like feral waves to your mind
Of the curl of your bodies
Like two perfect circles entwined
And you feel hopeless, and homeless
And lost

in the haze

of the wine

Today, I learned that the best, most raw form of love is to love unconditionally.

To accept someone as whole takes a lot to begin with. To embrace someone’s flaws takes more. Tonight, I thought I’d hit the lowest of lows with the person I love the most. When I looked up from the bottom of the well, all I could see was darkness, and all I could do was cry. But then, I looked into his eyes and saw that all he wanted to do was fix it, not leave it behind to rot in the past. I saw how much he cared for us and I felt the authenticity of his apologies. I then realized that the thought of leaving him had never even really crossed my mind, because I had already assumed we would make it through.

From the bottom we climbed up holding hands. And I love him more than ever.

Today, I learned that the best, most raw form of love is to love unconditionally.

You don’t know what I’m all about

Like killing cops and reading Kerouac

Don’t be ashamed of anything; I guess God meant it like locks on doors.